The Strange Risks of Spontaneity
I think a lot about how to live my life in a genuine way. I come from a very sarcastic family, and have always been pretty sarcastic in general. I use self-deprecating humour to create a persona that is more resilient than I actually am.
Most of my fondest memories come from times when I let myself be unabashedly goofy. Between Improv, certain moments in parties and more, when I think about the times in my past when I really felt "on" it was when I was able to spontaneously act outside of the beaten track.
At the same time, I have also made fun of people trying to be "random" for a long time, and I often will convince myself that someone is faking spontaneity or silliness and look down on them.
This puts me in a weird spot. Is my goofiness somehow superior because "oh well I'm actually self-aware"? That seems unlikely. Maybe part of being spontaneous and enjoying yourself is accepting that a part of that will be ~trying~ to be spontaneous, which is undoubtedly a bit lame. Maybe it's O.K. to be a bit lame.
I'll probably come back to this topic at some point, it's one that chases me around all the time in one form or another.
Most of my fondest memories come from times when I let myself be unabashedly goofy. Between Improv, certain moments in parties and more, when I think about the times in my past when I really felt "on" it was when I was able to spontaneously act outside of the beaten track.
At the same time, I have also made fun of people trying to be "random" for a long time, and I often will convince myself that someone is faking spontaneity or silliness and look down on them.
This puts me in a weird spot. Is my goofiness somehow superior because "oh well I'm actually self-aware"? That seems unlikely. Maybe part of being spontaneous and enjoying yourself is accepting that a part of that will be ~trying~ to be spontaneous, which is undoubtedly a bit lame. Maybe it's O.K. to be a bit lame.
I'll probably come back to this topic at some point, it's one that chases me around all the time in one form or another.
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