Very Late Post

I am back at school. I'm not struggling academically but I am struggling.

I don't know if it's a physical thing or some sort of sickness or a return of symptoms of depression but I'm just tired.

And somewhat anhedonic. I've been going to parties but not enjoying them (through no fault of the parties themselves), I'm sort of cloaked in this bitter jaded misanthropic cloak that I don't know how to get rid of.

Maybe I'm trying too hard. But I don't even know what I'm trying to do.

I feel like all I can do in periods like this is sort of grit my teeth (which are still grinding away - my night guard is slowly deteriorating) and make sure I do the basics.

I have had a few moments of high mood lately. "Conveniently" they've been when I saw professionals, timeswhen it might have been good to show my discomfort.

I feel very cold and clinical. Hopefully this doesn't last long.